Any parent will tell you the decision to divorce is not something undertaken lightly. Parents agonize for weeks and months, sometimes even years, trying to figure out if there is a way they can save the marriage, or at least make it work for the children. However, once the debate and discussion are over, parents spend surprisingly little time discussing the divorce with their children. Your children will likely need to revisit the issue repeatedly in the weeks and months to come. The following are messages which may ease the discussions you may have with your children regarding divorce or separation.
We Will Always Be a Family
It is important that your children know both parents will always be around, regardless of whether your divorce is finalized. Both parents should emphasize that they will be involved in all life endeavors. This includes providing love and support at the children’s music concerts, sporting events, high school graduation and beyond. If you are able, attend these events together. At a minimum, make sure you are both there, offering support. Children are focused on how the divorce will impact them. You can lessen the impact by presenting a united front of support for your children.
This is a Joint Decision
Regardless of the details that led to the divorce, present the decision as a joint one if at all possible. Children crave safety and security. Airing your dirty laundry won’t make you feel better, but rather may make your children feel worse. Sending a united message adds finality to the decision.
You Didn’t Cause This, and You Can’t Change It
Children need to know they did nothing to cause the divorce. This is a message that will need to be reinforced long after you and your spouse are comfortable with the decision. Children also need to be informed (repeatedly) there is nothing they can do to change the parents’ minds. Children may feel an odd sense of responsibility when parents divorce. It is up to both parents to remind the children they are not the reason for the divorce, and they will not be able to change the decision based on their words or actions.
If You Are Considering Divorce
If you are considering divorce, contact Zachary D. Smith, LLC. With a practice focusing exclusively on family law, Zachary D. Smith, top family law attorney in Cincinnati, can give your family, and your situation, the care and attention you deserve. From determining the best parenting time schedule to resolving issues around assets and debts, together, we can find a path forward for your family. To schedule a consultation or inquiries please contact ZDS Law at (513) 275-1164 or visit www.ZDSLaw.com for further information.
